


Gunman

by Magpiedance



Series: Gunman [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Ambiguous Deputy (Far Cry), Brainwashing, Canonical Character Death, Other, Rape/Non-con Elements, Spoilers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 03:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14227788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpiedance/pseuds/Magpiedance
Summary: Staci is the only one who understands.





	Gunman

**Author's Note:**

> _it don't matter, don't try to explain_
> 
> _you're just another dog to be trained_
> 
> _choke chained_
> 
> -
> 
> (Well I have just learned that it's 'Staci' not 'Stacey' and now I feel stupid. I checked and everything so whatever source I used at the time must have spelled it wrong, but I can't find it now so has presumably been updated. My bad.)

You're relieved that it's Staci who finds you crying in the Wolf's Den. He's the only one who understands.

He's the only one who really knows.

You're fairly certain he remembers more of your time with Jacob than you do. Remembers what that was like. The others think it's about _what he made you do._ It isn't that at all.

It's about how simple it was. How easy.

It's about how you felt when Jacob whispered sickly sweet praise in your ear; 'good job, you are perfect'.

It's about how you felt when Jacob had his hand on the back of your head and his cock down your throat.

It should have sickened you. In your right mind it surely would have. But under the circumstances _it felt so right_. That he should have this, have you. Because you were weak and he was strong. There was no need to think about it. You just opened your mouth and let him inside.

You're not even certain he derived any real pleasure from it. The only real noise he made soft grunts of exertion not enjoyment. A utilitarian, every act performed with efficiency and precision, a means to an end.

You are meat.

That's what he told you.

You were meant for this.

Meant to spread your legs and let your superiors take what they need from you.

He only took you that way once (that you remember). It was after Joseph had visited. Jacob seemed tired, and sad. You hadn't seen him look so human before. Whatever emotion that had evoked in your expression he hadn't liked it.

He pushed your face into the dirt as he slid himself inside of you. He said you were weak. He said you were lucky. He said you deserved worse and you spread your legs wider and moaned like a whore. He laughed to hear it. That's when the other words started to flow.

'That's right, that's my good little soldier.'

'Your body is mine, your flesh knows it, your bones know it. There's no part of you that's free.'

Then his hand reached around to stroke you, the one place you'd never been touched by him before.

'Perfect,' he had said, as he finished you.

Staci understands.

The bile rising in your throat isn't because you killed Eli.

It isn't even because you killed Jacob.

It's because in the end you were disposable.

He told you that you were perfect then when he was done with you he tried to throw you away. Even when you put a bullet in his head he didn't look satisfied.

_He wasn't proud of you._

_Even in victory you weren't strong enough for him._

That night you go out and seek out the biggest, meanest looking son-of-a-bitch you can find and goad him into riding you as hard as he can. It's almost enough. When you return with a split lip and finger-shaped bruises on your hips Staci says nothing. He dampens a cloth and wipes the blood from your mouth and you understand. He misses it too.

Not the murder, or the fear. Not the cages or guns or panic.

The certainty.

The feeling that his finger was the one on the trigger at all times.

You miss feeling like a weapon.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am not good at titles so just song titles forever. [Gunman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wdmKEabfa4) is by Them Crooked Vultures.


End file.
